Polar Opposite Lovers: We are Both

Me responding to one of those calls
Please don’t define yourself based on the options they give you.

“What is your signature look/scent,  what is your personality type?”.

They give you the options, you pick your answers, et voila – you are ‘this person’!

We are silently coerced into defining ourselves whether we are aware of it or not.

It begins in pre-school.

We are asked to pick our favourite colour, animal, food.

We are tested according to THE SYSTEM because it makes it easier for people to wrap their heads around our TYPE.

Once they know our TYPE, they know where we fit

Don’t fit = misfit.


Some like being a certain type.  Their world is made up of these accepted parameters and it makes life  easier.  It is their order in this world, but it’s not mine.

You know those Instagram feeds…

…Those ⇑ gorgeously stylised montages of life.  I wistfully sigh over them but mine will never look like that simply because I love too many wildly varying things.  I’d like it to be cos it looks darned fabulous, but I’ve discovered I simply love too many things and bet there’s more people who do too.
So, it’s not a case of either/or, it’s both.  We love both equally, (hence we are lovers of things often polar opposite.)
I love vivid colour and I love muted tones.
I love loud, (I mean split your ears, loud), and I love absolute silence, like a lot of it.
I love to stay home, I love to go out.
I love 5-star luxury, I love camping.
Homes… Don’t even get me started!
I am ‘suited and booted girl’ and I am ‘Bo-ho chic’ (oh, and I am ‘sporty spice’ too).
I am sexy-heel lady, and I am Birkenstocks.
I am all things sparkly, and I am completely at home in a field.
I am ‘all woman’ but I am ‘masculine’ in much of my thought-processing.
I am Summer and Winter, and Spring and Autumn… So don’t even ask me to choose my favourite.
I am a country girl who loves the city life.
I am sophistication, I am a complete goof-ball.
I am moderation, I am extravagance.

Now tell me what my type is.


Our type is TYPELESS.

It is inexplicably varied and hard to define because it often loves BOTH.

It doesn’t care that on any given day someone might see us as a type they think they ‘know’ when in reality we are so much more.

It doesn’t mean we’re indecisive.

It doesn’t mean we don’t know who we are.

On the contrary it means we are comfortable enough to allow ourselves to approach life free from constraints.

We have an insatiable appetite to evolve, grow and to discover.

WE ARE BOTH and I struggle for a word to define what that is…but that’s ok.  Suggestions anyone?



This post was left un-posted for four days because I didn’t know what to call it.  Misfits was the closest I came but ‘not fitting in’ wasn’t predominantly what I wanted to convey.  I thought on outliers, mavericks, typeless, multi types, extremes, ‘it’s not either/or – it’s both’ ?

How do you typify the loving two things that are often (though not exclusively) opposites in definition that results in not being type-cast easily if at all.  Going down the opposites route I came up with polar which nowadays has strong association with bi-polar (which this shouldn’t be confused with).    Anyway, that is all.


2 Comments on “Polar Opposite Lovers: We are Both

  1. Amazing!! Reading this actually gave me goosebumps. You are so right! I often find myself trying to fit myself to a type when actually, much like yourself I love such a variety of things. I love the city AND the country, dressing up AND being causal etc. I think society likes to try and create categories that we can fit into but most of the time the only category that exists is the self. Such a thought provoking piece of writing, it has really made me think about who I am and how I can be exactly what I want to be without trying to fit into a category. Sweet or savoury… I’ll take both thank you!

    Sarah xxx

    • Hey Sarah! Ah what it is to read comments like this. Thank you for bothering to take the time to write and identify yourself as a fellow BOTH girl! The more of us there are, the freer place the world will be. Hope to see you again, have a great week. Xx

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